Confession: I am a god (thanks to technology)

So I’m walking down the alley way to go to the gym (seriously) and undecided that waiting for my Bluetooth headphones to get replaced by the OEM was far too much of a first world problem for me to handle, so I took it upon myself to order a new pair using Amazon’s app. Note that this app makes it far too simple to blow money and I was $65 lighter in a matter of seconds. Amazing really.

But suddenly it hit me. I am a *god*, I realize. You know those Law and Order shows where the investigator is trying to meet up with someone really busy an important and in order to convey how busy and important this person is, they display a sequence of people briskly walking down halls while people hurriedly brief them on issues and get their advice that is invariably a one word response or just a pithy one liner? I AM THAT GUY NOW! Here I am, strutting down the alley way like I own the place. Email? No problem, let’s read that shit. I can answer them quickly, like a boss.

Heck, I’m not quite at my destination yet, so let’s have a quick look see at Twitter (the fact that I got through my email that quickly would indicate I truly am not quite that important but whatever). Witty tweet? I’ve got a second, so I’ll retweet that to my moderate number of followers.

What’s that? I’m at my destination now? (seriously, I really did go to the gym) Well, no problem. I’ll just slip this magical thing into my pocket and continue on. Then, when I’m working out I’ll just write a blog post about how freaking astounding it is to have a smart phone.

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