The angry queer: an open letter to straight people (in the US)

Dear straight people:


I have to often hold myself back every time I hear someone start on a “I’ve got nothing against the gays, but why do they have to flaunt their homosexuality like that?” rant, and it happens all the time, and I’ve even seen this mentality come to be accepted within the less flamboyant part of the queer community, and this pisses me right off.

You know why?  It’s because straight people flaunt their sexual orientation all the time too, if not more than gay people, because they’ve identified their sexual orientation as the dominant one.  The bulk of US culture is centered around being heterosexual, setting expectations for men and women from a young age to adhere to a life of heterosexuality.  It’s okay to be hetero, though, if that’s what you are.  You’re just being yourself, and I don’t fault anyone for that.

But when gay people want to be themselves, then it’s a whole different story, isn’t it?  When gay people start being themselves, it’s no longer being themselves.  Instead, it’s flaunting.

This is a huge problem.  You can’t just say you’re accepting of the way other people are, but only if they want to look and act just like you do.  That’s not what freedom is about.  Freedom is about having the peace of mind that you can be yourself because you have the integrity to let your fellow people be themselves as well.  It’s a shared thing.  We have gay parades where we show off our own subcultures.  Straight people have their parades where they show off things that are important to them.  And I go to both, and I think it’s great if straight people come to our parades. You’ll be loved for showing your support for us!

Straight people, you need to get over the fact that we’re different.  We’ve come to terms with that now, because you’ve been reminding us that our entire lives.  Next time you see that flamboyant guy or the butch woman, don’t feel like you’re threatened. Feel reassured that you’re not living under an oppressive regime that pushes for everyone to be the same.  Feel happily reassured that it’s okay for you to be you.

And for fuck’s sake, get off your religious high horse and quit trying to tell other people how to be morally correct. You’re in the United States, where you get to choose your own faith.  So if you choose a faith that says being gay is bad, then be reminded every time you see a gay guy that you’re lucky enough to live somewhere where you can follow the faith that works for you.

Much love,


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