As the trans day of remembrance passed by (not sure whether it was Friday or yesterday, but it did pass by), I’ve seen a few videos circulating through the interwebs on the topic of transphobia. I really feel for my trans friends because they are very much the bastard children of the queer community, being a minority within a minority. To exacerbate the problem, transphobia has become a pretty common phenomenon from LGB people themselves.
Check out this post:
Though it may be surprising to straight people that a trans person’s biggest obstacle in coming out is his or her own queer peers, it really isn’t as much of a shock to me. In Iran, a country known for its homophobia, sex changes are very common among gay men who wish to avoid persecution. And even if you’re a pretty conservative person against the gays yourself, you can surely wrap your head around the concept of getting a sex change and partaking in sex the way God intended. In a sense, these trans people are just correcting their bodies having the wrong gender. It’s straightforward.
But for the trans person’s LGB friends, it’s not so straightforward. In a lot of cases, the trans person starts out as either gay or lesbian (which would explain the community of other gay and lesbian friends). You bond with your queer friends over that experience. You’re breaking gender norms together and changing the world because of it. And when you come out as trans, this dynamic is changed entirely, because you’re looking to conform to gender roles (and making substantial changes to your body to do so).
Perhaps gay people see it as being difficult to relate to their trans friends now. Maybe they see transitioning as trying to escape from being gay and they feel like that’s cowardly. But the truth is, coming to terms with being trans is anything but cowardly. And you don’t “become” trans after being gay first; it’s something you have to learn about yourself, and sometimes you know this right off the bat, and in some cases, the journey takes a little longer.
But although being trans is very distinct from being L, G or B, transgendered people are still coexisting with us under our queer umbrella. We represent our pride with a rainbow for a reason. If you have people hating on you because you’re different and don’t like it, then you haven’t learned anything at all if you start hating on those who are different from you.
So share your love with the trannies in your life. They’ve got enough struggles as it is trying to pass, they don’t need you feeding them with doubts.